Gone Quiet
What happened when I shut off the news.
Alright, I’ll say it—the election was a real kick in the butt. For me, my family, and many of my loved ones. Not so much for half the country, though. Whether we’re right and they’re wrong isn’t the debate I want to wade into here. Instead, let’s talk about the giant elephant in the room: half the country feels completely differently than the other half, and this divide doesn’t seem to be going anywhere since on three different occasions, more than 75 million people pulled the lever for Trump.
I’m not here to decipher what that means for the state of the world today. Instead, I want to focus on the decisions I made after the election. Namely, I decided not to do what I did after Trump’s first win: obsessively watch the news, waiting for the other side to see the light because they never did. Not even when he called a governor to request 22,000 votes. That only seemed to make people double down and love him more.
This time around, I’d pinned my hopes on the possibility of our first lady president, trying not to think too hard about our broken system or deeply divided country. You may or may not have already heard about this, but visions of Madam Presidewnt didn’t quite happen.
I took the news of a loss as lots of the people I know did—with sadness and a heaping dose of fear. But I accepted the loss and instead of spiraling, I decided to figure out how to approach the next four years without living in a constant state of doom.
The first step? Cutting the endless loop of news consumption.
In our house, we’d already cut the cable cord a while back, but we held onto Hulu Live for news (and sports—for my gal, Mary). The day after the election, I canceled it. I signed up for ESPN+ for Mary and kept our Apple News subscription because written news felt a bit less… flaming dumpster fire-y. I curated it with more balanced sources like Reuters, The Economist, Bloomberg, and NPR. Now, I check in once or twice a day because in your 50s, staying informed feels important. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s what I think grownups are supposed to do. I’ll answer that question another day though because today I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
So, how’s this going since making this change?
Shockingly well. Look, I’m not skipping through fields of daisies over here. I’m still deeply concerned about the repercussions of broken norms and checks and balances, as well as security standard changes, which I mentioned in an earlier piece that you can read here.
But I’ve noticed something crucial: without news anchors and pundits telling me how to feel, I’m free to come to my own conclusions. During those endless hours of news I consumed during Trump’s last presidency, I wasn’t learning something new every hour. I was watching the same story rehashed 47 different ways, with people shouting:
How bad the thing is.
How much worse things could get.
CNN, MSNBC, Fox News (which I watched at times to see how the other side was approaching the same issue)—it didn’t matter. The result was the same: I was glued to the TV and terrified all the time. Would this be the thing that broke democracy? Or that? Or maybe both? None of it was good for me.
Reading the news allows me to focus on the facts. Sure, there are opinions in print, but they don’t scream, “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE TOMORROW!” like cable news seems to revel in doing these days.
So, I’ve felt a bit calmer this month than I thought I would, and maybe, just maybe, a smidgen more open. Don’t panic–I’m not about to become a card-carrying member of “Lesbians for Lowering the Tax Rate to Zero.” But I’m considering the idea that perhaps we, as a country, need to see what works and what doesn’t and make decisions from there.
For example, I work on a committee with someone who is staunchly against transparency. For ages, the larger group that the committee represents has felt ignored. Recently, under some pressure, he allowed a big conversation to play out at a group meeting. It was tense but productive. By the end, everyone could see that the committee’s recommendation—while not loved—was the best course of action.
Maybe that’s what we need as a country: clarity, tough conversations, and understanding the stakes.
Does that mean I’m hopeful? Not really. I’m worried about the ripple effects of cuts to education oversight, support systems for folks living in poverty, and the rights for women and LGBTQ people (including families like mine). But maybe people need to see the natural conclusion to massive cuts.
I don’t know.
I am committed to stepping back, trying to stay slightly open, and spending less time in the quicksand of outrage.
And as an unexpected bonus, I have some more free time that I’m spending doing things I love like being with family and friends, seeing more movies, and hitting the gym.
Sometimes life gives you lemons. All you can do is make lemonade and consider adding a splash of vodka.
Cheers, friends. We’ll get through this.
