A Parents’ Guide for Back to School
Don’t survive September and October, learn how to thrive.
I’m going to come right out and say it, Back to School is a bish. It falls during that time when we are hanging on for dear life to our summer relaxation vibe and feeling the impending anxiety of the school schedule, after-school classes, and too many PTA meetings. We avoid Back to School shopping because no matter how many deep breaths we take, we end up screaming about how crop tops and pajama bottoms are not appropriate school attire.
This time of year is survivable though. Maybe even thrivable. (The squiggly, red underline of the word “thrivable” tells me it’s not a word, but I like it, so I’m keeping it.) So, here are some tips for getting through this very difficult time of year so you can head into sweater weather with ease and an IPA.
It’s a new year. You might have a new kid. I often don’t realize my kids are in a new phase until I see another kid doing something all by themselves that I’m still doing for my kid. Let’s just say, I tied shoes way longer than I should have. This school year with all its fresh start-ness is a great time to evaluate what new stuff your kids can take on. Do you still need to be making pb&J’s for their lunch or can they figure out how to spread some crap on two slices of bread before squishing it into a sandwich bag? Taking that a step further, when your kid is ready, checklists are your friends. I currently have a checklist of all that needs to be done before leaving for school. Lists cut down on the nagging from me and help move kids toward autonomy. Also, let’s be honest, anything I can do to offload some work is fine by me.
While we’re on that subject of self-sufficiency... They’re never too young to start with the alarm clock. I kid, but also, not so much. The greatest thing in the world, and maybe one of my proudest parenting moments, is that both my kids set their alarms and get themselves up for school. My daughter is obsessed with makeup and wants to prioritize a full morning routine. To that, I say, “You do you, boo.” The other one wants a little gaming time before school. Sure, I wish he was reading a book, but I choose to be thrilled that he gets himself up because I stroll out of bed at 6:15 am and those animals are already doing their thing. Score one for, “I’m not an alarm clock!”
Get back to your thing. Remember all those healthy routines you had in the spring that went out the window once summer camps/vacations/outside dinners with frothy beverages began? Back to school is a great time to restart your routines. Get in those morning walks. Re-up your Peloton membership. Address any of those habits that got a little out of hand during the hedonism of the summer. You’ll feel better for it.
New year. New projects? Our entire lives from growing up to now have been based on a “start of school year” clock. So, fall is the time when we feel refreshed and ready to take on new things. Ask yourself, is there a project that you’ve been wanting to start, but haven’t taken on yet? Take advantage of that “get at it” fall feeling. Hello, Home Depot.
Balance your act. With work-from-home and hybrid life very much a thing, we’re all juggling more than ever before. Many of us are working longer hours with less time for ourselves. Remember the water cooler b.s. sesh’s from those in-office work days? I don’t do that from home, but I do juggle laundry between Zoom meetings. Don’t even get me started about how we're all working through sick days now. So I say, it’s time to start work a few minutes later. End a little earlier. Or just be disciplined about ending the workday when it’s supposed to end. I’ve been experimenting with adding an activity at the end of the day (like a walk around the block) to tell my brain the workday is done. I love a beginning, middle, and end of my work day. Try it. See how it feels.
This one’s gonna sound a little bit judgey, but…Back to School happens at the same time every year. I know. I know. I know. It feels like you wake up one morning and it’s mid-August and you have not ordered uniforms, thought about school supplies, or even considered what will happen with your kids after school. But maybe, just maybe, it’s a good idea to set a calendar reminder for mid-July to bang out those school supplies. Cross off the low-hanging fruit tasks before you’re furious that it’s “that time” again.
Talk Transition to those kids. August is a great time to talk with your kids about what the school year is going to look like in your house. Expectations for grades or extracurricular activities. This year was a transitional year in our house. One kid is now at a completely different school system for high school, so we started talking about commuting and wake-up times mid-summer, so a 6:00 a.m. wake-up time didn’t come out of nowhere. My daughter, on her own, decided to do dry runs of getting up and doing make-up the week before school started. I’m not crying, you’re crying. (I’m so proud of that kid.)
Run the blender. This is a stressful time (did I mention that?) But it all gets done, folks. Remind yourself that you always get it done. Take a deep breath, have a little talk with yourself, and then be intentional about a night off during those first few weeks if possible. If you and your husband, wife, or partner, head out for dinner and a movie, everything will still get done. I promise you.
Thanksgiving break is right around the corner. Keep your head up because in no time you’ll be in flannel pajamas, eating too much food, watching movies or football, and pretending work and school don’t exist.
You got this.